Things have been pretty awesome lately..I think. I might stay home and clean today because the house isnt awful but you can tell I havent been here, it's usually immaculate, I am such a perfectionist but lately I really donot give a fuck enough to be one. Last night Matt actually asked me if he could do fantasy football.Idont care! I hate when he asks my permission to do stuff like he will get in trouble or something. He is just trying though, and its nice that he has been doin that I just had to be brutally honest with him about everything I have been feeling, almost everything, some of my thoughts are way too ugly for the world. Im trying to be selfless and not so much selfish. I dont want to live my life trying to be a martyr but if theres any point I need to put myself on the back burner its right now,for my daughter.
I have been feeling so weird because I havent been sleeping well. My dad is on the phone talking about his lesbian lovers...so i gotta go listen to that