I suck at life. Sleep is so hard to come by these days. I keep wakin up from the most fucked up dreams & then I cant rest. Most of the time it's memories that are just contorted into nightmarish images if that makes any sense. I miss dreams that werent about shit, not  disgusting memories that claw their way through my subconscious & make me feel clammy and nauseous even in my sleep. fuck that :( I am just tryin to think happy thoughts. It really doesnt help that Im still scared of the dark, thats right, I said it. I should just pay someone to hit me in the head with a billy club every night. Maybe that would help.